


Ronald Frump Revisited

by PetrichorPerfume



Series: Shenanigans [196]
Category: Political RPF, Political RPF - US 21st c., Supernatural
Genre: Anti-Donald Trump, Crack, Gen, Ronald Frump is confused, Warning: Donald Trump, and its glory, so confused, the color orange
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-12
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2019-05-21 09:49:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14913102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PetrichorPerfume/pseuds/PetrichorPerfume
Summary: In which the president gets a visit from the Archangel Michael, who grants his deepest, darkest wish.Total crack.





	Ronald Frump Revisited

Mr. Ronald Frump was in the Oval Office, contemplating the Grande Wall. He’d decided to call it that only after his advisors had informed him that he could not, in fact, call it the Great Wall as he’d originally planned. Something about copyrights. Or was it human rights? He got confused. 

It seemed like he got more confused by the day, sometimes. One day, he’d feel one way about people of a certain color; the next, he’d find a different scapegoat. Only one thing was certain on this whole issue of race – orange was the best color for a human being. Especially for Ronald Frump. It matched his hair! It matched his eyes! His only aspiration in life, at this point, was to be a purer shade of his favorite color. 

“Ah, if only I hadn’t been so awesome at debating. Then, this whole ‘president’ thing would be just another down point in my already shameful past. But, alas, I am too good, too pure for this world.” He smiled down as his ‘family Bible.’ It had been in his family for about a year, now. Whole empires of mayflies had lived and died and loved and lost. That totally counted as the ‘generations’ he’d promised his adoring public. He turned to a random page. 

“At that time shall arise Michael, the great prince who has charge of your people,” he read aloud. “And there shall be a time of trouble, such as never has been since there was a nation till that time. But at that time your people shall be delivered, everyone whose name shall be found written in the book.”

“Huh. Wonder if my name is written in the book.” He considered it for a moment – the work it’d take to summon a slave – or were they called aides these days? – to read through the entire book to find his name. “Oh, who am I kidding? Of course it’s in there!” He shared a good laugh with himself. 

“You called? Sorry I’m late; people don’t pray much these days and-” A strange man had appeared in his office in the time Ronald had been enjoying his amusement. “Urg, it’s you again.” 

“Who are you?” Ronald Frump demanded, accidentally pressing his hand down on the big red panic button that presumably caused panic and chaos throughout the nation. 

“You’re lucky I disarmed that the last time we met. Father always told me that Lucifer would be the one to start the Apocalypse. Who would have thought He’d have reserved that honor for you?” 

“Me?” Ronald Frump asked. He was terribly confused. 

“Yes, you. You’ve come closer to ending the world with your bumbling than Lucifer did in all his cunning, so I suppose that’s something.” Harrumphing, the man sat down on Ronald Frump’s desk, scattering the few papers that his slaves – aides, he had to remember to call them aides; he’d have one of them make note of that, whenever he could get this nuisance of a man to leave – had left on the smooth, polished surface. 

Ronald considered for a moment. “Thank you; that’s high praise.” 

“Hardly. Aren’t you going to ask who I am? I mean, you did ask earlier, but it was an inconvenient moment for a reveal, so would you do me a solid and ask again?” 

“Ask what?” 

Rolling his eyes, the man sighed. “Close enough. I am Michael, Archangel of the Lord, God, who is in Heaven. Well.... He used to be, anyway.” Michael’s eyes grew wistful. “In any case, I’m here now, you’re on the verge of ending the world, and for the sake of all that’s holy, you aren’t even trying!” 

Smiling vaguely, Ronald Frump waved his hand. “I never did believe in all that nonsense.” He reached for a water bottle, and it turned to wine before his eyes. “Am I God?” He asked, awed. 

“No, you moron! I did that.” 

“Oh.” Ronald frowned. “You know, if we hired you, we could stop importing foreign wine and make ourselves billions. Trillions, even. Well, you wouldn’t make more than minimum wage, but I’d profit, and in the end, isn’t that all that matters?” 

“How about ‘no?’” Michael hissed. “I am leaving to go live a life that you probably wouldn’t approve of, which is all the better in my opinion.” 

“Wait!” Ronald Frump called. “I... I have one more prayer.” 

“Yes?” Michael ground out. 

Ronald summoned Michael closer and whispered his deepest, darkest, more secret desire. 

Michael grinned. “I am sure that can be arranged.” 

***

Ronald Frump turned up to his next press conference looking... Well, resplendent wouldn’t exactly be the word for it. He was tangerine from head to toe, gloriously, glowingly, glaringly tangerine. It was at once the ugliest and the brightest shade of orange that one could possibly be, and Ronald Frump couldn’t be happier if he tried. 

“My fellow Americans, I stand here before you today.... Naked, of course, in order to show the world the power and glory of the color orange. I couldn’t quite get my leaning tower to lean in the right direction, if you know what I mean, but I still wanted you all to know that I am orange and proud of it! Let’s hear it for your sovereign leader~” 

The silence that followed was tense and frigid, but Ronald Frump just laughed and glowed even more orange in the spotlight. 

The next day, he was impeached, and a much better woman replaced him.

**Author's Note:**

> I have big plans for the 200th story in this series. ;-P


End file.
